A Lot Can Change In So Little Time...

          Ok I am awful at this whole keeping the blog updated thing. Sorry bout that. Anyways my life has drastically changed from getting a new job to moving back to Atlanta. First of all NEVER SAY NEVER to God. I have found that whenever I say never to something it often happens. For example I always said I would never move back to ATL and here I am. I also said I would never work in pediatrics, and now I am. Neither of these things would I trade for the world. I am so happy and excited for this next season of my life.
          I graduated from Samford with my BSN in December. Was offered my first nursing job at Scottish Rite Children's Hospital the first week in January. Took the NCLEX, got my license, and moved the last week in January. A lot can change in just a month. Then the agonizing wait for my license to transfer to Georgia. And now I am where I am today. Tomorrow is my first day on the job. I am not going to lie I am nervous, who isn't on the first day of their first full time job. The goal I have poured sweat and tears into for the last four years of my life. My first real job. A job where I get to meet many princesses and dragons and whatever else a kid might pretend to be. I get to look at pretty colored pictures and play with dolls. I also get the privilege of helping make the sniffles go away. I cannot wait to serve these kiddos and their families. It is such a privilege, and I am so so excited.

            Over the past couple months I have had some wonderful time hanging out with my family. Getting to visit family in Knoxville, going to the beach, and finding a home church here in ATL. I am so happy to say that I have found a faith family and I am truly getting plugged in. I have started going to Passion City Church. Tonight was my first night as a volunteer or as they call us, doorholders. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me among these awesome brothers and sisters. I definitely learned from the past that plugging into a church is such a necessary thing. It is not something to take lightly, and I decided to dive in head first. I could not be happier. I am currently praying about getting involved somewhere  volunteering. I am hoping for something medical or kid related. It should be interesting to see where God leads me in the next few months.

          Ok so here goes one last thing for this update. I was debating whether or not to put this on here because it means that I actually have to commit myself to something that I have struggled with my whole life. I am going to set goals and lose weight this year. For real, not for fake. I guess writing it down where the world can see is holding me somewhat accountable in my head. We shall see. Children's has some awesome wellness benefits that I hope to take advantage of including onsite weight training, fitness classes and weight watchers. So there, the commitment is on "paper" and I pray I can follow through. Current goals is to lose 23 pounds by my 23rd birthday, June 20th. Who thinks I can do it?
           

For a day in your courts is better
    than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of wickedness. Psalm 84:10

Three Words

                                                                Larry Muller "Little Papa"
                                                     
          Do you ever have those days where years ago seems like yesterday and last week seems like forever ago? You remember random things about that day like what you were wearing or something one person said. Today is one of those days, and it will always be. Today is the 8th anniversary of the celebration of the freedom of my Little Papa from Parkinson's, and a sad day for all who knew him. It is odd to use the word celebration, but that is truly what it was in a way. He got to see the God and Creator he talked about all the time. He got to see the reason he lived and breathed and served. I will always remember the man of God that he was and the love that he showed to his family.

           One thing I remember vividly is the last conversation I was able to have with him. He had not spoken a word in hours, and as I was leaving he said "I Love You." I only slightly knew how precious those words were then, but now I truly know how precious those three words are. Little papa was the family man who took me on picnics, washed his car as I washed my tricycle, would take me on a day trip to UGA every once in awhile, and who could forget picking up sticks on saturday afternoons? I mean what kid did not want to ride in the super old red truck to take the sticks to the dump, even as a girl. Oh I was grandpa's little girl.

            As my sister is almost half way through college at UGA and I have just graduated from nursing school. I cannot even imagine how proud of us he would have been. Not to mention my little cousin Sean who never met him. Oh how much he would love him. Sometimes when I am hanging out with the most awesome four year old in the world he reminds me so much of the pictures of my grandpa as a kid. It is kinda ridiculous. I cannot wait until the day I get to celebrate with you, Little Papa, and the creator of the universe forever. But until then I Love You.

REDEEMING LOVE

      This time last year I feel as though I was a different person. Sorta lost and not really sure where I was headed. Then I went to Passion and was really challenged with getting involved in my local church. I mean really involved, not just going on that Sunday I really felt guilty about falling away from the church. I had become a statistic. Little did I know that this would change my life in such a drastic manner! (I had a feeling it would, I just ignored it).

      When I went to passion last year I was really convicted about some things in my life that just weren't quite right. I was also super focused on the future and what would happen in the next year or so of my life. I felt God calling me from a dark place in my own life to go serve Him in a different context. I was confused and wondered why He had not called me when I was closer to Him, but He called me when I was further away. I began to search for different ways to serve Him elsewhere after graduation. Who would have thought that I would end up in Liberia just a few months later? I didn't, but that is exactly where I ended up. I was so focused on doing something after graduation and the job and the plans that I almost missed the now. The ironic thing is that my plans for the "FUTURE" has actually become the "NOW" and I am out of my own plans. I don't have a job yet, and as unsettling as that is in my mind He is making me incredibly strong in my heart. I am not sure if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it does to me. The planner in me is screaming out with fear, exhaustion, and confusion. Yet in the night when I am just at a loss of what to think or do I still hear that voice somewhere within me saying "fear not, I have plans for you. HELLO I have had plans for you from the beginning of time, just wait." So here I am.... waiting patiently (occasionally unpatiently aka still human).

Back to getting involved in church. I decided to join the Church at Brook Hills and finally find a small group to live life with. After awhile of uncomfortable gatherings and a couple groups later I found my small group. I absolutely love this group of girls. We surround each other and support each other like family and I could not ask for more. We go to each other's events, pray for each other daily, call and text each other on the good days and the bad days, and we gather to study the word weekly in each other's houses. We serve others together and we pray for the nations together. We keep each other accountable, and I cannot be any more thankful for God putting these girls in my life. I have truly learned what it means to live life together as a body of Christ. I cannot believe I ever walked away from the body of Christ, but I did and I am a story of God's redeeming love. My life has truly turned 180, at least on the inside. I mean I still have plenty of things to work on and I sometimes have to remind myself of what He has done when I start to doubt His plans for me, but I quickly find myself humbled and reminded of everything that has changed. I'm ridiculously thankful for my faith family, for my small group, anyone involved in my life over the last year, and every single person reading this, and I just wanted to let you know. 

     

Back In The States

               I am so sorry for not updating this very often. I have been back in the states for 2 weeks and I have returned to Birmingham and am working again. I have been super busy since I have gotten back with a last minute road trip with my sister to Knoxville to see my cousin's new house and moving my sister into her first apartment in Athens. I have to say it was an adjustment coming back. Part of me really really wanted to stay longer and another part of me was ready to be home. I really learned a lot on my trip about myself and about others. There were times of frustration and sadness and there were times of joy and laughter. By the end of my trip I could understand most of what was said, but there were still some mix ups. The last day that I was in Liberia I went to an orphanage that I normally did not visit on Tuesdays. One of the girls was telling me about how she hurt her knee. I thought she said it had been burned. So I sent my driver to go get burn supplies from the house. About 5 minutes later I noticed some commotion outside and everyone was heading toward the kitchen. There was a huge oil fire in the kitchen that was getting out of control. I started gathering kids away from the fire when all of a sudden there was an explosion. My first thought was oh my goodness there are probably a lot of people who got hurt because there were still people in the kitchen. Only one kid ended up getting his eye burned pretty badly, but he was able to still see and they took him to the eye hospital. By this time the driver was back with burn supplies which was originally for what I had heard was a burn but turned out to be a scrape. And then the burn supplies were needed. It is crazy how God works sometimes.
              That same day I went to check on Emmie the girl previously mentioned. Her head was healing nicely from the chemical burns and she seemed really happy with the people she had bonded with in her new home. She is still in need of prayers of healing.
              I have had a lot of going back and forth with God about what to do after I graduate while I was in Africa and when I got home. I have officially come to the conclusion that it is not up to me and all I can do is come to God with my desire and pray that He will lead the way. I know I want to work with babies and eventually I might go somewhere across the world long term but past that I have no idea what is going to happen after graduation.
            I also learned that fear and anxiety are not of God. There were really not any moments when I did not feel safe in Liberia. There were some time of doubt after the man who worked next door was shot by armed robbers one night and ended up dying. That night I was anxious, but I think a lot of it was the adrenaline rush from all of the commotion. I learned that prayer is essential and praises are crucial. Time with God is as important as staying hydrated and serving others is a blessing. Hearing rough news from back in the states about a friend brought me to my knees and that is when I realized that I really could not do anything and God was the only one with power and control. Worry was useless and prayers were all the help I could offer.
           Thank you so much for all of the prayers and the support. I could not have done this without it. I am ready for my last semester to start and eager about all the new things to come.

Clinic Experience

             Yesterday I took some kiddos to the hospital/clinic. I have been doing screenings at the orphanages here and a few of the kids were definitely running a fever. So yesterday I  took four of them to the clinic. I got there and had absolutely no idea what to do. Somehow every single other person knew what was going on. And I was the one confused white woman in the group with 4 really sick kids. All i know is there was a man yelling, no signs showing what to do, I needed four yellow registration cards, and there were three different lines to sit in. So the craziness began. I got all of them registered and then we sat, and we sat, and we sat. It felt like the whole world was moving around us and I didn't understand what was going on. Like the little kid standing in front of the counter that nobody can see. Then I received a call saying a 5th kid was coming and so was some much welcomed Liberian help. So they arrived and to my relief we started moving along.
               The first step in the process was weights and temperatures. Every kid had a temp over 101. So tylenol was given and of course they all drank out of the same cup. O Liberia. Then I was sent to the cashier to pay for the doctor. The cashier just happened to be on the other side of the campus. I returned with a receipt and the kids saw the doctor. Then the doctor sent for labs on all the kids. So the next step involved taking all the kids to the cashier and paying for the labs and then taking them to the lab on the other side of the hospital, getting labs drawn, and then taking the results back to the doctor. A couple hours later we find that some kids have malaria, and some don't. So everyone gets malaria treatment anyways! Next stop the pharmacy. BUT WAIT you guessed it we have to go to the cashier again. Then they send me to see if all the meds are available and then I go back and pay. Then I wait in what I guess they call a line to pick up 3 or 4 different medicines for each kid. Are you feeling the confusion yet? After all is said and done the kids are on their way to recovery and I had an experience that I will not forget.

Today I went to visit a little girl named Emmie who is new at one of the orphanages. We got word that she had been dropped off this week by a family member because her stepmom had been abusing her and put caustic chemicals on her head which burned her scalp really badly. When we got there she was quite frightened of us. I am not sure if it was because of the bag of medical supplies we had with us or simply because we were white and just different. She began to cry and the little girls around her tried to console her. We began to see that the burn was pretty much covering her whole scalp. I held her as Deb cleaned and applied cream and gauze to her head. Unfortunately we had to cut all of her hair to treat it. I could feel her tensing up with every movement. I gave her some stickers to look at and try to distract her. After we were done she was still a bit scared. We covered her head with one of my bandanas and by the time we were leaving I saw a little smile shining from her sweet little face.

            
        Please be in prayer for Emmie as she is healing physically and emotionally. Pray for these kids as rainy season is underway and malaria is pretty prevalent. Please pray for my last few days here. I have been getting sick to my stomach in the evenings. It has been frustrating, but I am really looking forward to what God has in store for these last few days. Also for safe travel as I leave to head back to the States on Wednesday.

My 26 On You-O!

          Happy Liberian Independence Day! It has been a busy couple weeks. Last week I did some health screenings at two of the orphanages. I also taught hand washing to the kiddos. So things have been really busy. I am sorry I have not given an update.
        Last Thursday I headed to Cottontree which is where one of the orphanages that ORR works with is located. I was able to get the height and weight on all the kids as well as ask them if they had any other problems going on. After that we headed outside to go over hand washing. I used green paint as the "germ" and one kid passed the germ to the other as they shook hands. Then we sang Jesus Loves the Little Children as each one of them washed their hands. It was pretty fun.
     The kids had moved into their new home a year ago so we had a party that included singing, dancing, and food. The true Liberian way to celebrate!
         This weekend I was not feeling well so I just rested around the house. Thank goodness I felt better Sunday night. On monday I headed to Robertsport with a group of missionaries from a hospital nearby. Robertsport is about 2 hours north of Monrovia and a lot of the drive is on a really bumpy dirt road. But it was all worth it because the beach was gorgeous. I got to swim a little. The currents here are incredibly strong so you have to be extremely careful. I enjoyed watching some Liberian kids surf on some of the boards that we brought. After a day at the beach we headed back down the dirt road and back to town.

              Today is Liberian Independence Day and all the Liberians are celebrating and spending time with family. So we are spending some time away from all of the noise and chaos at a nearby resort area. I do admit it is strange to go from living within the community to feeling like a real tourist as I sat out at the beach with a bunch of other white people and after that walked into an air conditioned room. It is nice for a break and to get away from the noise and enjoy a hot shower, but I can't help but to think about how different the world is right outside these walls. But I am quickly reminded that I am still in Liberia as I move my pillow and find a giant spider.

        I head back next week and cannot believe my time left here is so short. Please pray this week as I continue to finish the screenings and other various odds and ends. Thanks for your prayers!

          

Oh Liberia-o...

      A lot of this past week has not been blogable (is that a word?). A lot has happened over the past week from safety scares to just Liberia being Liberia. I got to hang out with the kids more last week, specifically the older girls at Francis Gaskin's. The girls sewed on Monday and baked on Friday. They baked cassava bread and coconut cake. They were both really good. I am still struggling with understanding Liberian English and the Liberians don't understand me very well either so this makes for some very interesting games of charades and most of the time ends in neither of us understanding and just laughing it off.
     God has really been teaching me a lot over the past two weeks. He really has been teaching me about totally trusting in Him through all situations. This is what I read in my Jesus Lives devotion by Sarah Young.... "I want to make your life a glorious adventure, but you must stop striving for a lifestyle that feels safe. I know how ambivalent your heart is in all of this: You long for the adventure that a life abandoned to Me can be, and at the same time, you cling to old ways because change frightens you. Though you feel safest when your life is predictable and things seem to be under control, I want you to break free and discover the adventures I have planned for you. The greatest adventure of all is knowing Me abundantly: discovering how wide and long and high and deep is My Love for you. The power of My vast Love can feel overwhelming. That is why many people choose to limit their knowledge of Me, keeping Me at a distance. How this grieves Me! People settle for mediocrity because it feels more comfortable. Meanwhile, they continue to battle fear. Only My Love is strong enough to break the hold that fear has on you. A predictable lifestyle may feel safer, but it can shield you from what you need most of all--Me! When unexpected events shake up your routine, rejoice! This is exactly what you need, to wake up and point toward Me. Recognize that you are on the threshold of a new adventure, and that I will be with you each step of the way. As we venture out together, cling tightly to My hand. The more you abandon you can experience My Love."
       And that devotion has pretty much summed up the last week of my life. Please pray for the kids and the people I am working with this week as I am beginning health screenings and the sort this Wednesday. I am also taking some of the kids to the clinic later this week. Pray for the ORR team as things are wrapping up here during this really wet rainy season. Also for guidance and wisdom in the next few weeks.